this situation unti[l]
age of twelve years [illegible]
was an awakening in
Family which sparad [spread]
through the Society i[n]
the first knowledge of it
me verry uneasy [illegible]
thought I this world is
all my gay seans [scenes] are ove[r]
it was not many days before I
to think seriously of the impor[tance]
of having religion the warnings
I had recievd from my parents
now sounded in my ears the vanitie
of the world now grew tast[e]less it
now seemed of importance to have
an intrust [interest] in Christ I now came
to a resolution to be religious to
that and I regulated my conduct
atended constantly on secret prayer
which I had atended from very
1
[illegible] and as the
of young people had
[co]nferences preposed to one
tes to set up conferences
nt to a buy place [byplace] and
ther we gave informati[on]
[s]o that in a short time
[illegible] no less than Twenty or
that met Together in confer
and carr[i]ed on regularly som[e]
n but after a while there was
so much Eregularity [irregularity] I left the
meetings which soon broke up the
persons who set out with Engagedness
made a schoff [scoff] at all seriousness
I was now left Wholy alone but
instead of discouragement I felt
more ingaged let others do as
they would not to Neglect Religion
although I was very ignorant of my own
t, I now grew much ingaged
1
Spent much time in secrit devotion
usud [used] to talk much to my younger
Brothers not to Neglect Religion I now
began to think I was very religious
and that god would be well pleased
with it usud [used] to at times to prayer pray
very ernestly thought that god could
not but be moved with such fine
payers [prayers] as I was pleesed to call them
and that he could not help shewing
me some favour on that account
god was pleased to shew me at a c
certain time more clearly the
awfull circumstances I was in by
nature I now viewd my self in emina
nt [imminent]
danger every moment to that degree
that I came to a resolution never to
give my eyes to sleep again in such
awfull circumstances this was between
sundown and dark I walked out doors
I walked out with this determination
2
but as fully determined to do all
in my own strength but had not
been out but short time before god
was pleased to shew me in a clear
manner the sandy foundation I
was building upon I now saw I was
a siner and that all my suposed
goodness was nothing but Rotenness and
polution my heart now apeard a
sink of sin I was now ready to cry
out what shall I do to be saved
is there any way that such a
vile siner as I can be saved I now
find I am a siner and canot make
atonement for one sin which now
stare me in the face in the midst
of these ancious [anxious] inquiries I thought
yes Christ can save siners I will
i will this moment fling my self
down at his feet and if I perish
I will perish at his feet begging
for Mercy can he be willing to save
such a vile wretch as I am but
if he does not I can but perish I shall
without he save me I now felt more calm
and in my mind and was much spent
and went unto the house and flung
myself on to the bed and fell to sleep
the family began to be consernd about
my being gone so long and waked me
out of sleep and asked where I had
been so long I made no other answer
than I had been out of doors which had
been as much as two or three hours I now
was
much exurcised to think there was such
an alteration in my mind I now
thought my convictions were worn of
Which gave me much pain grew more
sensible of an alteration in my mind
3
went to bed and awoke the next
morning with composure every
thing now looked differently I was now
pleased with thinking of God and Christ
Gods Charictor now looked amiable I could
now I thought see a beuty in all his
works I took delight in reeding his word
Some particular passages of scripture
apeard to affect my mind one from
the Hebrews we are not of them that
draw back unto perdision but of them
that believe to the saving of the
soul apeered to come with great
force on my mind and gave me
some hope that god had begun
a good work in my soul as I had
kept every thing to my
self
that had
been on my mind I now had thoughts
of letting my parents know of what
had passed but it was not long
before I gave up all pretentions of
being a Christian I now was very glad
I had not pretended any such thing
I now found I had such a wicked heart
I thought it imposible there should
be any goodness there I thought that
Christians
had got clean beyond sinning I now
thought instead of being a Christian
I was vastly more wicked than before
my heart now appeard a sink of sin
and yet I was very insensible of it
my greatest burden was that gods
spirit was in a great measure departd
from me I ussed [used] to pray earnestly
above all things he would not
take his holy spirit from me which
apeard to me the greatest of judgments
my heart now apeard hard I often thought
I was givin up of god
4
that he had done striving with
me yet at some particular times
I had clear views of divine
things
Some
pasages out of Doct watts psalms
as I was in great darkness respecting
the sate [state] of my soul this line in
the 17 psalm Lord tis enough that
I am thine give me great satisfaction
a considerable time that although
I could not say that god was mine
yet I was gods it apeard to me exceed
ding delightfull to be wholley devoted
to god I ussed [used] to cary the psalm book
in my pocket and reed [read] it in the
field where I worked privetly may
not a sinner trust in the[e] from the
50 psalm had great operation on my
mind caried me clear beyond all the
burden on my mind for some time
I remaind much in the same situa
tion of mind from the age of beetwen
twelve and thirteen to the age of
between twenty and twenty one years
of age although I was much ingrosed
with the vaneties of the world a
geat [great] part of the time yet I ussed [used]
to wonder how my mates could be so
captivated with them they often
looked lighter than a feather I
thought that ondly [only] hearing Christians
talk about the things of another
world were vastly prefferable I ussed [used]
to seek every such opportunity and was
eager to catch every word I removed to
the state of Vermont about the
age of nineteen years and was as
much ingrosed in vanity as at any
for better than a year after although
5
AI had many serious reflections on
my conduct one particular time
I determined above all other things
to make a business of religion but
it was not abiding but about half
in my 21st year of age it pleased god
to set home the conversation of two
pious Chrestians, I have reason to
think for my good it was on
Sabath Day noon the discourse turnd
on the joys of heaven and the
satisfaction of living a life of near
ness to god I was so captivated with
it and it took such a hold of me
that it was with difficuilty I could
keep from making disturbance
it left a full determination to now
begin a life of religion which
blessed by god
has
lain warm on my [illegible] some measure
ever since I now began to inquire
seriously into the estate of my
soul I had had at times some
glimerings of hope that god had
whrought a good work in my soul
I now atended to the strictest exam
ination into the Matter I now had got
to an age
to gadge [gauge]
more properly respecting
religious experiences but the more I
examined the more dark it looked
my heart now apeared now like a
sink of sin my sins stared me in
the face the law of god apeared
pointed directly at me I could
not take hold of one of the promises
of god it seemed at times as tho
my sins were like Mountains ready
to fall upon me and crush me
beneath their weight it was a
common thing for some time find
6
very atentive to the subject
he was telling what a fine
thing it was to have the eyes
opend I found I was much pleasd
with the subjects but read on
untill he mentiond about the
wise men seeing the the [sic] star in
east that directed to Christ Mathew
2 Chapter 10 Verse and when they
saw the star they rejoused [rejoiced] with
Exceeding great joy my mind was
now so captivated my atention
was wholly taken of the book
I now laid it down and walkd the
Chamber and it has apeard then
ever since that I then knew
what it was to rejoyse with the
Wise men with Exceeding great
joy the change I now experienced
has apeared as great as a Mala
factor brought to the place of
exicution and to receive a pardon
and on some accounts greater and
my relief came in a way Wholly
unexpected it had apeard to me that
it was inconsistant for god to shew
mercy to such a hell deserving siner
as I was but now I was brought to
see that it was unly [only] hell deserving
sinners that Christ came to save
their [There] apeard such a fullness in
him that if I had ten thousand
souls I could freely wenture [venture] them
all on his merrit and riteousness
there apeard such beauty and excel
ency in this way of salvation by
that I could as it were leap for joy
I walked the chamber using these
words he is gust [just] such a saviour as
I want there appeard inexpressible
8
delight in dwelling on the subject
I now see that god could now con
sistent with his glorious perfection
save the cheifest of siners mercy
and truth could meet and kiss
each other unspeakably glorious
plan it seemed that a Whole
eternity was little time enough
to look into this glorious mistery
my mind was in calm for several
days untill one of my mates observed
to me one day what you profess to
be a christian I hear and I am very
sorry for my part I am no hipocrite
I dont profess to be one these words
gave me such a shock that I was flung
into darkness which lasted for some two
hours I but was releivd [relieved] again
by two or three verses out of the third
Chapter of Malachi then they that
feared the Lord spake often one
to another etc and they shall
be mine saith the Lord in the
day that I make up my jewels and
I will spare them as a man sparreth
his own that serveth him my mind
was now
sense of what it was to be one of
god jewels what an infinite previ
elidge [privilege] what vile siners made
gods jewels the infinite[l]y Glorious
god stoop so low as to make wretched
siners his jewels I now thought
I wanted to lye [lie] low infinite[l]y
low Before god was astonished
that god should thus regard
siners I was now filled with a sweet
calm frame of mind which lasted
for some days sin now looked
exceeding vile I now see what it
was to sin against an infinitely
9
glorious god it looked like
vile ingratitude I now determin
ed
to watch my heart against
the first Motions of sin to this
end I came to a resolution that
if I was either at a loss about
my duty in anything or was
under a temtation to do anything
that was wrong I would not
venture on either untill I had
asked gods assistance which had
god enabled me fully to adheard
to would have been of special service
but yet in a number of instances
was inabled to do I now look [took] great
delight in reeding gods word open
it where I would there apeard
a rich treasure of spiritual
knoledge and instruction I took
delight in reeding the psasms [psalms]
especially the 119 psalm I had
often wondred how that psalm
came to be so long and still al
most every verse much the same
Since I now ceased to wonder at it
it
apeared that David when studying
upon the law of god did not know
when to leave of [illegible] and see
that the Lord is good apeard sur
prisingly sweet I have seen as [an]
end to all perfection but thy com
mandment is exceeding broad there
appeard an end to all perfection in
this vain world when put in compa
rison with the infinite perfection
of god the the men of this
world boast of perfection how mean
when compared with this glorious
theme thy law is pure therefore
thy Servant loveth it it was on this
account that it was butifull [beautiful] becau
se
it was so pure I thought i now was
willing to have god serch me and
10
try my heart and
way in me and lead me in the
way everlasting had a longing
desire that others might come
and partake was ready to wonder
sometimes how persons could set and
hear the truths of gods word and be
no more afected the scriptures apeard
to be now the power of god and the
wisdom of god the gospel scheme of
salvation apeard becomeing a god
of infinite perfection that siners
should be saved Wholey [wholly] by the righ
tteousness of Christ without having
any regard to personal righteousness
apeard safe and glorious the doctrine
of total depravity and our sole
dependance on the sovereignty
of gods grace through Christ
apeard perfectly right and
glorious at partikular times
this way of Salvation so astonishing
it apird [appeared] I could not be willing
my best friends should be saved
in any other way if they were
lost ferever it apeard so reasonable
I could not be willing they should
be saved any other way the presinc[e]
of god apeard now above all things
glorious I rejoyced to be under his
imediate inspection it now gave
me great sattisfaction that he
knew my heart and was aquaintd
with all my wants these words
often [illegible] struck my mind
were I in heaven without my god
twould be no joy to me
and while this earth is my abode
I long for none but the
11
spent much time in reading
books of divinity as well as the Bible
was much in examination into the
state of my soul it apeard of
Infinite importance that my
foundation was right took great
setisfaction in examining my
own heart those hours that I spent
alone or in retirement were altog
ether the most desireable it apeard
a burden often to be in company I
usud while young to be much afrad [afraid]
of thunder now it often apeard
exceeding delightsome I now usud
when a thunder storm was rising
in the evening,
to walk abroad
to see the th
lightning dart through the
clouds with the greatest satisfacion
I remember a particular time
hunting cows in the woods there
came up a very heavy thunder
storm and thundrd very hard
While in the woods alone it apead [appeared]
gods voice gave me exceeding
desireable feelings without the
least fear I remaind much in the
same frame of mind for the most
part of the time for about one
year through the sumer of 1775
which was the year the war began
was in my 22 year of my age there
was now a great call for soldiers
[illegible]
to inlist [enlist] for a campaign to can
nada was much at a loss what
was my duty the life of a soldier
was disagreeable but felt so warm
in the cause determined to go.
in
inlisted as waiter to the Major
of the rigiment set out on
12
The 2d day of September taried in
Rupert the first night in about
three or four day arived at Crown
pint [point] where we taried three or
four days waiting for fair wind
at this time [illegible] wrote a letter
back to my parents it now gave
me great unesiness of mind that
I had not opened my mind more
fully on religious matters before I
left home it apeard very uncertain
whither I should ever see them
again the campaign apeard very
dangerous and I but little ussed to
hardship felt very calm had this
expression in my letter I dout [doubt] not
but I shall have reason to give
thanks to god to all eternity
for the pious instructions I have
recievd from you never had so great
a sence bfore of the advantages of
pious parents my undertaking apeard
great but felt a disposion to be will
ing to go where god in his providence
should call me set out from Crown pint
a little before sunset and saild [sailed]
about eight or ten miles that night
and went ashore on a small isleand
I now began to know the life of a
soldier lodged in the open air had
several narrow escapes from death
on the passage we arived at the
Isleand on about fifteen miles from
St Johns in about three or four days
where General Montgomery and troops
ley the army set sail for St Johns
in about two or three days after my
landing there I was ordered to tarry
13
to take care of the of oficers baggage
while the major went back into
the cuntry taried there about
2 weeks in which time I learnd to
what a pitch human nature could
go all kinds of wickedness were
carid [carried] on here to the greatest pitch
this isleand and containd about one
hundrred acres which was all clerd
except one small gove [grove] which
served my turn for retirement and
often reflected that if all that were
on the isleand were as fond of retire
ment as I then was it would be no
place of Retirement at all in this
fort
2 weeks i now think I had some
converse with the Father of Spirits
the Major returnd we soon set sail
for St Johns arived towards night
to our encampment
encampment
within about
a mile of the fort the enemy flung
flung
shells greatest part the night
but none fell very near where I was
the next day I was one that under
took the greatest peace
piece
of hardship
posibly I ever did undertake it was
in going around St Johns a swamp
of about five miles there was about
one hundred of us we had all our
baggage to carry on our backs
the logs were very thick and water
to travill in considerable part
of the way now some time in
october at which time the water
is cold there had ben an action
a day or two before
a party
crosing and as
the indians were soposed [supposed] to be
thick in the woods it was expected
we should be atated by them
atacked
14
our orders were to march in sing
le
file at a rods's distance and not
speak a loud word while marc
hing and I have often thought
since that if ever I did rejoice in
God it was travising [traversing] through that
swamp it apered to me altogether
safe being in the hands of god and
wholly at his disposal I could with
the greatest pleasure trust my all
both for time and Eternity with him
Some pasages out of the 43 Chapter
of Isaiah were exceeding sweet at
this time When thou passest through
the waters
I will be with thee and through the
rivers, they shall not overflow the
when thou walkest through the fire
thou shall not be burnt nither [neither] shall
the flame kindle upon the [thee]
with with the preceeding verses
preceeding verses
so captivated my my mind I almost
forgot but I was travilling a good rode
without the least danger or any thing
to carry. we went through safe to a
place called Beedles camp and
Tarried that night I had a sick night
by reason of the fatigue and catching
a cold felt very gloomy next morning
as the ridgment were a going now to
remove expected to be left behind but
got so well as to travill arived at
night at Lapperare
La Prairie
a french village
on the bank of the River St larrance [Lawrence]
about nine mile from Montreal
taried there 2 weeks my mind was
here much taken up with the
customs and maners of the french
people we removed and made a strong
at Longuil nearly oposite Montreal
with only the river to part here we
taried 3 weeks here by living with the
15
that I could have some body I could
be free with on the things of another
world and I veiwd those things of
the utmost importance and that
our situation looked very critical
and to see such wickedness caried on
and no attention to serious things
and particular the officers having
such a carouse every Saturday
night had flung a gloom on my
mind and gave a lose my affection
he said what I had said apeard Serious
Matters to him that he did not
pretend to be religious but was brought
up in a religious family in
in Scotland and thought these
matters were of importance to attend
to and wished me to pray with him
before we parted I told him I should
be free to do it but thought it was
not consistant under the present
circumstances but would pray for
him and wished him to pray for
himself I saw him several times
afterwards and he apeard very serious
there was another thing posibly
worth a place a person ussed to
frequent our quarters that belonged
to the York troops that was uncom
only profane used to make use
of all the names of the trinity
in almost every word of his disorse [discourse]
and as we were alowd to treat our
friends at popr [proper] times on the oficers
tost [tent] gave us considerable influence
I was much displeased at his conversaton [conversation]
and having an opertunity of no other
person in the room I acosted him
I have nothing against your vizets
but your bad language but that you
take the sacred name of God and Christ
17
in vain so often I cannot put up
with you must be sinsible I can
put a stop to your vissets by apply
ing to the Colonel but would not
wish it if you stop your
profaneness the person vizsitted
as usual but wholy stoped his
profaneness and was a very agreeable
person as we often had alarms
from the enemy we used to mus
ter with the ridgment in our turn
the other take care of the cokery [cookery]
the day the action hapened was my
day to take care of things we had this
morning ben sent all round the
village to pick op turkyes and
make provision for all the oficers
in the ridgment to dine about ten
of eleven O"clock this morning a
person came into the Colonels
room and brought news that there
was a large number of boats loaded
with men in the river against
Montreal it was made light of
by some but the colonel apeard
agitated he orderd the ridgment
musterd imediately I taryed in the
house some minutes and put
things in order and went out to
see what was taking place and
found the whole ridgment had
left the town the enemy in plain
sight indevering [endeavoring] to cross about
a mile above the town I now ran
into the house and spoke to the
people of the house to take care
of the coking took my arms and
followed after the ridgment by this
time our people had lined the
bank of the river where they had
indevoured to land and a brisk fire
18
began both sides as I was passing
the enemy had landed part of there [their]
men on a small isleand in the
river and were making down the
river to land the rest against
the town and were all in plain
sight my mind was some ruffled
but had so much comand of miself
was determined to risk my life with
the ridgment was sinsible the enemy
must have ben as much as three or
four times our members I ran a little
back in the fields untill I got
against where our ridgment lay
I now had a hill to desend
descend
about
forty or fifty rods and nothing to
schreen me from the balls of the
enemy I ran down the hill and
found our men had got some big
rocks and some behing [behind] a low stone
wall about 2 or 3 feet high covered
with [illegible] at the top the orders
was not to fire with out they could
see a good object to be likely to do [illegible]
tion we expected every moment the
enemy would make a push on us
besides the boats were atemting [attempting] to
tand [land] about a mile below us I lay
behind the stone wall with my
piece ready to fire at a moments
warning now had time for reflection
considerd there was the greatest
probebility we should all be killd
or taken as I now had an opertunity
I put my face partway between my
knees and looked to god and comitted
miself into his hands both soul
and body for time and eternity
19
and I imediately found such a
calm resegnation to his divine will
and disposal that it apeard that
god knew infitnetely [infinitely] the best
how
to
dispose of me and I could rest
satisfied he would do perfectly
right by me it apeard perfectly
safe being in his hands I felt as
tho I was willing to trust the whole
event of the day with him I have
ever since viewd this as the most
trying sene [scene] I ever met with and
Diary of grand father Kent.
have concsince thought that
if ever I had the presence of God
with me it was at this time
there was soon word that the enemy
were preparing to cross the river
and several did actually cross on
were taken priseners a very
fire began which soon stoped
crossing the river they atemted to cross
on the rapids of the river but were
now in a shocking situation some
of them within a few rods of our
people and had got behind rocks and
were knee high in water and were
obliged to be there five or six hours
[w]hile our people kept up constan
on them the boats retreated
h and tunded and struck up
iver and staid untill dark to take
the others that were in distress
the victory evidently declared in
ur of us there was now great joy
[am]ongst our troops they kept up
[illegible] fire till dark the boats then
oyed of the enemy I got leave
return to my cokery [cookery] and got
[s]upper against [again?] the oficers returned
20
[illegible] now great through all
to my self what the spirit of [illegible]
joy was my animal pasions wa
s said it apeard afterwards tho
that the hand of providensce was
very
prisoners and killed I believe twenty
and thirty and lost not a single
man and but 2 men slightly w[ound]
ed tho but less than 2 hundred
against seven hundred of
St Johns fort was given up in two
or three day afterward about the
same time several vessels were
taken going down the river ag[ain]
Montgomery imediately came
and took Montreal I now went
Montreal and taried there [illegible]
of four days the ridgment was
dismisst we set out for home from